My cat has just eaten three mallards!

setup: My cat has just eaten three mallards!

[BILL] qua a house cat, seated at round table Man, I just can’t wait. When is it coming?

[Shakes] qua a house cat, seated at round table I can’t believe you ordered three. I’m so embarrassed.

(([KayCEE] arrives with three Peking ducks on a tray))

[KayCEE] qua waiter The triple-Peking duck is only for special occasions! Is today a special occasion?

[BILL] lying Yes! It’s [Shakes]’ birthday!

[Shakes] nonplussed, smiling awkwardly Uh. Yes. Today is my birthday.

[KayCEE] delighted A birthday IS a special occasion!

(([KayCEE] starts carving the first bird))

(([BILL] watches intensely))

punchline: He’s a duck filled fatty puss.