What's a guitar player's favorite Italian food?

metadad · by Bill Berger

setup: What’s a guitar player’s favorite Italian food?

[Server] qua apron, three pens behind ear, six-table section Maestro. Welcome to Trattoria Sei Corde. May I bring you a cocktail?

[Guitarist] qua leather jacket, soul patch, fingers calloused on the left hand A Negroni. And the strum-boli.

[Server] The strum-boli.

[Guitarist] Yes.

[Server] A bold choice tonight.

[Guitarist] I always order it.

[Server] ((TO THE KITCHEN)) One strum-boli! Fully voiced!

[Shakes] qua busboy with a basket of focaccia, beaming This is the best of all possible Tuscan menus.

[Guitarist] What’s in it today?

[Server] Chef has used the Em cheese, the G sausage, the C spinach, and a D7 tomato reduction.

[Guitarist] Standard tuning.

[Server] The chef tunes to standard before he tunes to plate.

[Guitarist] And the crust?

[Server] Calluses. Hand-formed. Sixty days of pressing.

[Manyfeek] qua jukebox in the back corner, playing the same Stratocaster solo on loop ((TINNILY)) Every guitarist orders this. Every Tuesday. None of them know what it is. It is a hot pocket.

[Server] ((WITHOUT TURNING)) Mort. Quiet.

[Guitarist] What did the jukebox say.

[Server] He’s having a moment.

[Manyfeek] IT IS A HOT POCKET.

[Server] ((SLIDING THE PLATE DOWN)) Strum-boli for the gentleman. Mind the tremolo as you cut.

[Guitarist] ((CUTS. STEAM RISES. INSIDE: PEPPERONI, CHEESE, A SMALL E-STRING.))

[Guitarist] Beautiful.

[Server] Buon appetito, Maestro.

punchline: Strum-boli.