What's a lawyer's favorite drink?

setup: What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink?

[Bartender] qua polo with firm logo, mustache, cocktail shaker What’ll it be, counselor?

[Junior Associate] qua wrinkled suit, tie loosened, two ounces of weep about to release I’ll have… the subpoena colada.

[Bartender] Of course. Coconut cream. Pineapple. White rum. Process server’s signature. Notice of appearance. Garnish: small umbrella stamped CERTIFIED.

[Junior Associate] Make it a double.

[Bartender] Two service requirements?

[Junior Associate] Two service requirements.

[Shakes] qua bar back with a smile, beaming This is the best of all possible happy hours.

[Senior Partner] qua bespoke, scotch, eyebrows Subpoena, Williams?

[Junior Associate] Yes sir.

[Senior Partner] Light or strong?

[Junior Associate] Strong. Document production attached.

[Senior Partner] ((CHUCKLES)) That’ll put hair on your motions.

[Manyfeek] qua discarded bar napkin with case citations scrawled on it ((FROM THE BAR)) This man has been served three subpoenas in this bar. We’re a venue now.

[Bartender] ((SLIDING THE DRINK)) Will you also be having a tort-illa chip?

[Junior Associate] Yes.

[Bartender] And a side of habeas-mole?

[Junior Associate] Yes.

[Senior Partner] Williams. You’re unwinding.

[Junior Associate] ((SIPPING)) This is legal.

[Senior Partner] Sweet?

[Junior Associate] Strict liability.

[Senior Partner] The garnish.

[Junior Associate] ((READING THE STAMPED UMBRELLA)) “You have twenty-one days to respond.”

[Senior Partner] ((RAISING SCOTCH)) To the practice.

punchline: A subpoena colada.