Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

setup: Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

[Marshal Ney] qua high collar, sash, polished boots, war room Sire. The Russians await our reply. Where shall I deploy the Imperial Guard?

[Napoleon] qua bicorne hat askew, hand inside his coat as always, slightly damp Sleeves.

[Marshal Ney] I’m sorry?

[Napoleon] In my sleeves, Ney. The Imperial Guard is in my sleeves.

[Marshal Ney] Sire. Forty thousand men are not in your sleeves.

[Napoleon] Look.

(([Napoleon] LIFTS BOTH ARMS. SOMETHING BULGES INSIDE EACH SLEEVE.))

[Marshal Ney] Sire.

[Napoleon] Quietly, Ney. They are sleeping.

[Shakes] qua aide-de-camp with a quill, beaming This is the best of all possible campaigns.

[Marshal Ney] Sire, the Russians.

[Napoleon] The Russians are also in my sleeves.

[Marshal Ney] Whose sleeves.

[Napoleon] Mine.

[Marshal Ney] But —

[Napoleon] Ney. When you said the Imperial Guard, where did you think I kept them.

[Marshal Ney] In the barracks, Sire. In the field tents. In the line of march.

[Napoleon] Inefficient.

[Manyfeek] qua single Old Guardsman peering out of the right cuff ((MUFFLED)) I have been in here since 1799. I would like to come out. Just for an hour.

[Napoleon] Soon, Pierre.

[Marshal Ney] Sire. Where do you keep your generals?

[Napoleon] ((TAPS HIS BICORNE)) Here.

[Marshal Ney] And the Navy?

[Napoleon] ((LOOKS DOWN)) Boots.

[Marshal Ney] Sire, with respect, this is not how armies work.

[Napoleon] That is why I am winning.

punchline: In his sleevies.