Want to hear a joke about paper?

setup: Want to hear a joke about paper?

[BILL] qua Ivan IV, the Terrible Has anyone seen today’s newspaper?

[Shakes] qua Anastasia, [BILL]’s fictional wife Are you sure you didn’t leave it in the bathroom? You spend like an hour in there. Are you eating enough black rye? You can’t just stuff mutton down all meal.

[BILL] My bowels are fine; you’re projecting. Let me go look there now.

(([BILL] walking down palace hallway. Opens secret door to commode))

[BILL] yelling back to [Shakes] Yeah! You’re right! It’s here. Heh: serfs acting up. I’ll smack ’em later.

[Shakes] yelling from throne room Is there any toilet paper left in there? You used the last roll and I hate pulling the velvet rope in there for a serf!

[BILL] yelling back to [Shakes] looking in cabinet Ugh. We are OUT! Do you think we should just get a Toto? The Japanese ones seem so clean and, well, I could feel fresher…

punchline: Never mind. It’s tearable.