What do you call a fibbing cat?

setup: What do you call a fibbing cat?

[Attorney] qua suit, leather portfolio, court reporter at table Mr. Whiskers. State your full name for the record.

[Cat] qua tuxedo coat, white paws, slit eyes Whiskers.

[Attorney] First name.

[Cat] Mister.

[Attorney] Sir.

[Cat] ((LICKS PAW)) You said full name. Mister Whiskers.

[Attorney] Mr. Whiskers. On October 14th, were you in the kitchen.

[Cat] No.

[Attorney] We have security footage.

[Cat] That’s a different cat.

[Shakes] qua paralegal with a notepad, beaming This is the best of all possible depositions.

[Attorney] Mr. Whiskers. Did you eat the entire pound of deli turkey.

[Cat] Define “eat”.

[Attorney] Place in mouth. Chew. Swallow.

[Cat] No.

[Attorney] The turkey is gone.

[Cat] It was always gone. Time is a flat circle. I question the premise.

[Attorney] ((LONG BEAT)) Mr. Whiskers. Are you aware that lying under oath carries criminal penalties?

[Cat] I am aware. I have also lied under oath. Also under the bed. Also under the cushion. I lie under most things.

[Manyfeek] qua empty turkey package crumpled in the trash can ((FROM THE BIN)) He’s lying right now. He has turkey on his chin. I can see it from here.

[Attorney] Mr. Whiskers.

[Cat] Yes.

[Attorney] That’s turkey. On your chin. Right now.

[Cat] Different turkey.

[Attorney] ((CLOSING PORTFOLIO)) I have no further questions.

[Cat] Then I have no further answers.

punchline: A lion.