What did the police officer say to her belly button?

setup: What did the police officer say to her belly button?

[Officer] qua tactical belt, body cam, professional stance Hands where I can see them.

[Belly Button] qua an innie, lint slightly visible ((WHISPERS FROM BELOW THE T-SHIRT)) I don’t have hands.

[Officer] Don’t get cute. You know why we’re here.

[Belly Button] I genuinely don’t.

[Officer] You’ve been concealing.

[Belly Button] That’s — that’s the job description.

[Shakes] qua rookie officer with a body-cam, beaming This is the best of all possible patrols.

[Officer] Sir or ma’am or neither. We received a tip from housekeeping that you have been collecting unidentified materials in your cavity.

[Belly Button] That’s just lint.

[Officer] That’s evidence.

[Belly Button] Of what?

[Officer] Pocket lint without pockets. Trace fibers from three different shirts. One sequin. We have a sequin, sir.

[Belly Button] I don’t even know where that came from.

[Officer] Right.

[Manyfeek] qua undershirt tag pinned to a nearby seam ((MUFFLED)) He’s been hoarding down there. I’ve watched it accumulate.

[Officer] ((TO BELLY BUTTON)) You have the right to remain concealed. Anything you reveal can and will be used against you in a court of personal hygiene.

[Belly Button] What’s the charge.

[Officer] ((PRODUCES A FOLDED GARMENT)) Suspected possession. Stand by. I’m placing you under a vest.

[Belly Button] That’s just a t-shirt.

[Officer] Under a vest.

[Belly Button] ((QUIETLY)) Yes, officer.

punchline: You’re under a vest.