I used to have a job at a calendar factory.

setup: I used to have a job at a calendar factory.

[BILL] standing outside factory gate, back of car open, looking both ways Hey! Need a calendar page? Need a calendar page?

((People walking by. Avoiding [BILL]))

[BILL] Hey! Got calendar pages here. What do you need? I got this cat page for 1993 for February. It’s an orange cat and he’s “HANGIN’ IN THERE!”. Only 2 dollars and I’ll give you a Far Side off my 365 day setup. I’m sure it’ll have a cow on it!

((People walking by. Avoiding [BILL]))

[BILL] Hey! Got calendar pages here. I got the Firemen from Down Under for the ladies! Look at these gents! They must wrestle with roos or something! Look 2 dollars for the page from March 2003 and the guy has a full on axe or some shit? Is that an axe? Anyhow! 2 dollars for one page and like I say, every purchase gets a Far Side page!

(([Shakes] walking by. Avoiding [BILL]))

[BILL] desperate You! Yo man! You definitely need a calendar page! I got days! I got full months! You need a week? I got scissors; we can make a deal?

[Shakes] avoiding I’ve purchased my Franklin planner already this year…

[BILL] That’s THIS YEAR’s calendars! I’ve got classics! Have you seen Silver Spoons from 1988? Huh? There’s Ricky Schroder RIGHT THERE!

[Shakes] avoiding and walking past No. I’m fine. Please let me by.

[BILL] Hey! Got calendar pages here. I got the ALF here…

punchline: But I got fired because I took a couple of days off.