What happened when the blue ship and red ship collided?

setup: What happened when the blue ship and red ship collided?

[Coast Guard Investigator] qua white uniform, gold piping, podium, microphone This is the NTSB Maritime Subcommittee, hearing 2076-Bravo. State your name and vessel.

[Blue Captain] qua dripping, blue peacoat, hat askew Captain Halpern. Vessel Argonaut III. Blue-hulled. As assigned.

[Coast Guard Investigator] Captain Halpern, you were on a heading of 002 true. The Crimson Mariner was on a heading of 182 true. Reciprocal. Closing speed forty-six knots. Explain.

[Blue Captain] We were engaged.

[Coast Guard Investigator] Engaged in what.

[Blue Captain] A race. To a tropical island. To settle a bet.

[Shakes] qua quartermaster with a logbook, beaming This is the best of all possible bridge crews.

[Red Captain] qua dripping, red sou’wester We bet the cargo. We bet the cargo and the crew.

[Coast Guard Investigator] Both crews?

[Red Captain] Both crews. Winning ship gets to keep their own. Losing ship sends their crew to the island. To live as castaways.

[Coast Guard Investigator] And the collision.

[Blue Captain] We hit each other.

[Red Captain] Dead center.

[Coast Guard Investigator] Both vessels are underwater. The cargo is underwater. The bet is underwater. Where are the crews now.

[Manyfeek] qua single empty rum bottle washed up on the inquiry-room floor ((FROM THE TILE)) The crews are on the island. All of them. Together.

[Coast Guard Investigator] That was supposed to be the losers’ fate.

[Manyfeek] Both losers.

[Coast Guard Investigator] And the winners?

[Manyfeek] Underwater. Like I said.

[Coast Guard Investigator] Captains. Did you understand the terms of the bet before you accepted them.

[Blue Captain] We did not.

[Red Captain] We did not.

[Coast Guard Investigator] Then how were you crewing.

punchline: Their crews were marooned.