What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

setup: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

[Fitness Influencer] qua compression shirt, beanie, GoPro on chest mount, $200 thermos Brrr family! It is minus twelve up here at Aspen and I am here with the most shredded snowman in North America. Frost. Frost. Tell the camera what you do.

[Frost] qua snowman, six rippling segments where a middle should be, two stick arms hyper-veiny I cold-plunge twice daily. I am the plunge.

[Fitness Influencer] Look at those core delineations. Look at them.

[Frost] Genetics is a factor. I’m not going to lie. But it’s mostly the protocol.

[Shakes] qua chairlift attendant, smiling This is the best of all possible thermoregulations.

[Fitness Influencer] Take us through the protocol, Frost.

[Frost] Six AM: cold plunge. Seven AM: ambient cold plunge. Eight AM: I’m at this point essentially already a cold plunge. Ten AM: shaved ice macros.

[Fitness Influencer] Macros, Frost.

[Frost] Carbs zero. Fat zero. Protein zero. Total cals: also zero.

[Fitness Influencer] You’re saying it’s a deficit diet.

[Frost] I’m saying I am a deficit.

[Manyfeek] qua puddle forming beneath Frost’s left snowboot ((FROM THE GROUND, RISING)) He’s melting from the inside.

[Fitness Influencer] Frost, can you address this.

[Frost] That is intra-muscular hydration.

[Manyfeek] That is your thigh.

[Frost] ((TIGHTLY)) The cut is the cut. The cut requires sacrifice.

[Fitness Influencer] Like and subscribe, family. The cold is waiting for you.

punchline: An abdominal snowman.