What do you call a fake noodle?

setup: What do you call a fake noodle?

[BILL] qua sus elbow macaroni noodle Hey guys! What’s up with everybody here!

[KayCEE] qua farfalle Hi narc. What’s up with you!

[BILL] No way man. I’m cool. Does anybody know where I could get some good sauce? I’m really aching for it.

[Manyfeek] qua strozzapreti. flicking open switchblade Come closer narc. I’ll show you some ::OBSCENITY REDACTED:: sauce.

[BILL] Hey hey hey! There’s no reason to get crazy here. I just need some sauce. I helps me take the edge off. I need it man.

[KayCEE] OK. Guy, yeah, you look pretty bad. [Manyfeek] come on. Call him over.

[Manyfeek] qua strozzapreti. annoyed but looking over shoulder MARIO! We gots someone who needs the sauce.

[Manyfeek] to [KayCEE] This goes bad? It’s on you. I don’t trust elbows and I never will

[Mario, a plumber with a red hat] walking up. Heya you. You wanna the sauce?

[BILL] Yeah. Man. You got any alfredo or maybe some pink sauce?

[Mario, a plumber with a red hat] concerned That shit’ll kill ya faster than… take this. A nice marinara. Take it slow….

[BILL] pulls out pistol! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

((Multiple Agnolotti, Tortellini, and Ravioli storm in, and take [Manyfreek], [Mario], [KayCEE] into custody))

[Sgt. Cavatappi] Another nice sting, [BILL]

[BILL] sighing Yeah. I need a break. This job is killling me.

punchline: An impasta.