Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

metadad · by Bill Berger

setup: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

[BILL] qua sentient cycle, pushing body up on parallel bars, sweating Eeeerrgh. Eeergh.

[KayCEE] qua physical therapist Come on [BILL], one more revolution, keep pushing.

[BILL] I can’t do it. I just can’t

[KayCEE] What are you an 8? You 8 yourself [BILL]? You need to do this. Or do you want to be left in the shed with the old lawnmower!

[BILL] now red EEERGH. EEERGH.

[KayCEE] Put your spokes into it. Your chain broke not your spirit man. PUSH!

[BILL] now purple EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH.

[KayCEE] That it! Keep your seat level! Don’t put your fork that way! YES! Straight now. NO! No bell yet! Keep going.

[BILL] now green EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH. EEERGH.

[KayCEE] You’re doing it. Just one more rotation. Come on [BILL]

[BILL] falling AAAAAAAAH!

((CRASHING SOUNDS. BASKET GOES FLYING TO THE LEFT. BELL BINGS AND DENTS))

[BILL] pounding floor I’ll never roll again.

(([BILL] sobbing))

punchline: It was two tired.