What do you call a sleeping bull?

setup: What do you call a sleeping bull?

[OSHA Inspector] qua clipboard, hard hat, reflective vest, two weeks from retirement What is that.

[Foreman] qua coffee-stained polo, eight unread voicemails buzzing That’s the dozer.

[OSHA Inspector] That is not a dozer.

[Foreman] That’s the dozer. We call him Big Mike.

((BIG MIKE — A 2,400-POUND ANGUS BULL, SNORING — IS PARKED DIAGONALLY ACROSS THE SITE, FLATTENING TWO RUNS OF REBAR))

[OSHA Inspector] This is a Caterpillar D9 site, Mr. Halloran. You have a Caterpillar D9 budget.

[Foreman] We have Big Mike. Big Mike was cheaper.

[Shakes] qua flagger in a safety vest holding a stop/slow paddle This is the best of all possible job sites.

[OSHA Inspector] Does Big Mike have a Certificate of Operation?

[Foreman] He has a temperament report.

[OSHA Inspector] Does Big Mike have a backup alarm?

[Foreman] He bellows.

[OSHA Inspector] Does Big Mike have an operator’s manual?

[Foreman] ((PRODUCES A LAMINATED CARD)) Yeah. Step one: wake him up.

[OSHA Inspector] And step two?

[Foreman] Get out of his way.

[Manyfeek] qua porta-potty, slightly tilted, foundation cracked ((INTERIOR VOICE)) Big Mike finished my foundation work yesterday and I have never felt more structurally insecure.

[OSHA Inspector] ((WRITING)) I am citing this site for sixteen violations. Sixteen.

[Foreman] Big Mike doesn’t read.

[OSHA Inspector] That’s the seventeenth.

punchline: A bulldozer.