Chaplin
Ch_002_050: Chaplin, Saskatchewan
I find myself running into a town surrounded by endless white hills. Strangely, the town is not named White Hills, but Chaplin. I have no idea why. Perhaps they enjoyed the City Lights? I see two dog tourists nearby.
-38EB
The two dog tourists stare at the hills and one remarks, ||This is the attraction here in Chaplin? Piles of salt?||
The other dog responds, ||Well, the lake next to it is where thousands of birds stop off during their migrations, and you can stand on a tower.||
The first replies, ||Even the birds aren’t staying? Let’s move on…||
I feel Mastereye pushing thoughts into my brain, “Find the lost dog. Put him on the right path.” I look around and finally see a young dog at the side of the road. It seems confused.
I run up to the young dog and say, “Hello. Can I help you?”
+27EB
The dog replies to me, “Allo? Allo?” I’m looking for the subtitles and then I realize. This dog talks my language? I ask it, “Can you understand me?”
The dog speaks slowly and carefully, “Allo? I am human talk study person. I talk good human?”
-44EB
I reply, “Yes! You speak very well for a dog. My name is… well, I am a hobo. What is your name?”
-19EB
The young dog offers, “Obo? I sais pas the obo. I am Rudd. Rudd Weatherwax. I like humans. Want to be boss of humans. Do you know trick?”
“Trick? Like what?”
“Say. YAHOO! Like good boy! I have liver treat?” says Rudd.
“I have no time for this, Rudd. Aren’t you headed someplace? I heard that you were lost?” I ask the dog.
-58EB
Rudd looks confused and asks, “How do you know Rudd lost?”
I point to Mastereye and say, “He told me. He told me unless I help you, and unless it’s interesting, we all get thrown into a void.”
-31EB
Rudd looks to where I’m pointing and seems confused, “Who is he? Nobody la … there.”
“Never mind. Where are you heading? Maybe I can help?” I offer.
“I want meets Lucille Ball and works with human in television at Los Angeles. I like blondes. Long hair. Long yellow and white hair is my dream,” says Rudd.
“Uh, sounds interesting, Rudd. Let’s find a bus stop,” I answer, and Mastereye pushes the nearest bus stop location into my brain.
-22EB
“Rudd? The bus stop is over here. Follow me,” I say to Rudd and he follows after me. Something is on a pole but it’s completely illegible to me. Rudd stares at the pole and notes, “The bus. Here in a few minutes. Merci! Your name is Hobo? People watch Hobo somehow?”
“People? I’ve no idea. Eyeballs definitely,” I say to the dog as he waits for the bus.
“Les yeux? Zut alors! I think my show will be hairy. Hairy, yellow and white. Everyone likes good hair,” says the dog.
-18EB
“If you say so, Rudd. Look, the bus is coming now,” I say and the Greyperson bus drives up. The dog barks out, ||You can board, but no humans outside of a crate.||
+64EB
Rudd notes, “No Hobo on bus. Sorry. Merci. Good boy! Try a YAHOO! and grow your hair maybe?”
I say, “Thanks for the advice, Rudd, but I think I know what will keep people watching. Just tons of variety and surprises!”
-47EB
Rudd looks and tilts his head, “Hm. I am different maybe. Bon voyage, Hobo. Thanks for the directions to the bus.”
I thank Rudd and Mastereye pushes hard into my soul, “Get to Portage la Prairie. You’ll need to do better and find something far more entertaining. This episode feels like filler.”
I run and hope that my filler improves in the next town.