X8 Home Depot

Ch 07.8 - The Home Depot

The two electric jeeps struggled through the rain and mud. Alan and the kids were talking about Tim’s favorite human types.

“I just loved all kinds of humans. Carnivores and herbivores are both great!” said Tim through a rough wet cough. The damp weather wasn’t great for his fragile young lungs.

Lex asked, “What did humans eat? They didn’t eat dinopods, right?”

Alan calmed the young pod, “Not usually, no, but some species would from time to time eat non-mammals or birds. The Cajun might eat alligator, but everyone kinda knew he preferred chicken and was just showing off. Some Soldiers, to prove that they were tough enough to fight, would brag that they could eat a snake in the wilderness if needed.”

Lex was not convinced but said, “OK. I hope we keep meeting nice apes and no carnivores.”

Dr. Grant shrugged, “You can always tell. A Vegan human could appear in any species, but as soon as you see them, they’ll tell you directly that they’re vegan. I gather that lack of nutrients affected their cognition. We can’t tell as, well, most humans hated vegans, but vegans couldn’t shut up about it either. A strange paradox that all of dinopodia still can’t quite grasp.”

The storm opened up over the jeeps and the rain pounded down. The passengers could barely see the paddocks through the wall of water from the inbound typhoon. The jeeps slowed and stopped. “The Quaternary Age was not without danger. Humans would hunt other humans over territorial disputes. The most feared of all humans? The iKKKKe or Icky.”

Ellie’s eyes grew wide, “They have an Icky paddock?! Oh no. I hope they’ve carefully kept them locked up. They’re so dangerous.”

The lights in the paddock were off to aid in the drama. Then, some spotlights made a few details clear. A strange sign read “The Home Depot” high in the air. It was orange and the words were at a 45-degree angle for an unknown reason.

Another light shone down on three humans sitting and waiting outside. They were close to the sign but reasonably far away as well. The three sat and groomed each other, but all were wary. All were waiting for something — anything really.

Ian asked Ellie, “What species is this? Is this the Icky? They seem harmless to me?”

Ellie said, “No. This is the Icky’s prey, Ian. These are Migrant Workers. They work for anyone for very low costs and work brutally hard for little pay.”

Ian was confused, “Why would these people make good prey, Ellie? They sound useful?”

Ellie said, “The Icky just enjoys it. The strange part? Many Icky used to be Migrant Workers and then decided later to become Icky.”

Suddenly, the lights went completely dark. Nothing could be seen.

Dr. Grant said to the kids under his breath in the other jeep, “This doesn’t seem right? Why did the lights just go off? The jeep isn’t working either?!”

Tim turned on the LED lights in the jeep and Alan snapped them shut immediately. Dr. Grant whispered, “We don’t want any Icky thinking there’s someone in here, OK?” The emergency paddock lights suddenly turned on; the boy’s glazed eyes widened as he looked out the jeep window over Dr. Grant’s shoulder.

“HEYU!HEYU!WHARFROM!HEYU!WHARFROM!” said the blue Icky male walking towards the other three from the left. Its upper limbs had its thumbs hooked behind a vest with about twenty-five pockets. There was a sign on the front that read, “I’m with stupid” with an arrow pointing to the Icky’s head.

One Migrant Worker immediately bolted into the dark foliage nearby. There was thrashing in the wet leaves and a faint sound of “IckyIckyIcky! HALT!” preceded a fountain of gore.

The other two Workers walked slowly apart as the blue Icky male bisected them.

Tim was frightened and asked, “What is going to happen to those Workers?” and Lex’s eyes were like saucers. The lights faltered again and nothing could be seen briefly before another Icky burst out from hiding.

“IckyIckyIckyIckyIckyIckyIcky! HALT! IckyIckyIckyIckyIckyIckyIcky!” said the red Icky female as it leapt onto the unsuspecting Migrant Worker. The red female immediately started to rend the Worker into red, red food.

Ellie looked back at the other jeep and saw the frightened, wrinkled faces of the children in some small interior light. She could see Alan keeping them calm and frilling as needed.

Ian whispered to Ellie, “We need to keep those kids safe. They can’t run.”

Ellie noted, “I think it’s fine as long as they’re in the paddock. They can’t hurt us.”

The emergency lights failed and the jeeps were tossed into complete darkness. Only the dim lights of the jeeps, which still had battery power, were left.

Alan, back in the other jeep, was saying, “See. It’s fine. They are behind that barrier. We’ll be going soon.”

Tim had crouched down to hide after the lights had gone out. He looked up after Alan’s words, and came face to face with a red Icky human at the window looking in.

“WHARFROM! WHARFROM! WHARFROM!” she screamed at Tim through the glass. Tim’s talons grasped at the air in fear and his rheumy eyes cleared in pure terror.

Alan, still hidden, quickly whispered to Tim, “say, ‘The real America. Can’t you help a brother get there? Hehehe.’”

Tim faltered and he stuttered, “W-wwhat-t?!” through his shaking torso.

“IckyIckyIcky! Open. IckyIcky! Open now!” said a blue Icky male on the other side now tapping on the window. Its head was tilted in concern and venom.

Tim managed to spit out, “FFFrrrom thhhhe rreal ammeerica.”

“ACCENT? ACCENT?” said a third, older and larger Icky. This one had multiple yellow ribbons tied to its shoulders. It shook them at the other two Icky who shied away in respect and fear.

Tim tried to talk again, “FFFFrom…”

“ACCENT? ACCENT! ACCENT!” the third Icky started to yell.

“I am obviously not from here!” Ian yelled outside his jeep in the rain. He stood just next to the open door as the sheets of water poured down onto his beautiful leather disco wear.

The three Icky turned in a flash. The yellow-tufted Icky pointed and hissed. The other two started “WHARFROM! WHARFROM! WHARFROM!” as they pivoted toward the second jeep.

Donald, routed, ran from the jeep towards the Home Depot sign yelling, “I am an attorney at law!”

The blue Icky’s eyes narrowed at the running litigator and contract reviewer. It covered the distance between them in three quick steps. Donald and the Icky flew together into the awaiting wet foliage and parts of Donald flew outwards immediately after.

Ian jumped back into his jeep as an Icky slashed and cut open some of his scales. He yelled to Ellie to get the jeep going, and he got the door shut. The Icky were now on the jeep and Ellie frantically drove off with all three still attached.

Dr. Grant and the children sat in the jeep for a moment. All was quiet.

Dr. Grant looked out and saw the remains of Donald. He told Tim and Lex not to look. He tried the jeep and it was clear that the electric jeeps were failing in the rain and mud.

If they were getting out of this park, it would have to be on foot.