Why did the astronaut break up with the moon?

setup: Why did the astronaut break up with the moon?

[Mediator] qua office, plant, paperback titled GRAVITATIONAL BOUNDARIES We are gathered today for the separation hearing of Mission Specialist Reyes and Luna. State your reasons for the split.

[Reyes] qua flight suit, mission patches, tired She needed space.

[Mediator] She needed space.

[Reyes] Yes.

[Mediator] You’re saying the moon needed space.

[Reyes] Yes.

[Luna] qua silver glow, faintly pockmarked, levitating in a chair It’s true. I needed space.

[Mediator] From whom?

[Luna] From him.

[Reyes] See.

[Shakes] qua mediation assistant, beaming This is the best of all possible separations.

[Mediator] Luna. Can you elaborate?

[Luna] He visited twelve times. He left a flag. He took rocks. He walked on me. Multiple* times. He left footprints.

[Reyes] That was the mission.

[Luna] That was my surface.

[Mediator] Did he ask?

[Luna] Once. Apollo 11. Politely.

[Mediator] And the subsequent visits?

[Luna] Increasingly assumed.

[Reyes] She gave me tides.

[Luna] Those are not for you.

[Manyfeek] qua single moon-rock in a plastic display case on the mediator’s shelf ((FROM ITS CASE)) I was taken. I have been on this shelf since 1969. I would like to go home. I want to go home.

[Mediator] Mort, please.

[Manyfeek] The moon is right there. Just throw me back.

[Mediator] Luna. What do you need?

[Luna] Space.

[Mediator] Literal space.

[Luna] Literal space. And no return visits for the next twenty years.

[Reyes] That’s a long timeline.

[Luna] That’s my timeline.

[Reyes] ((QUIETLY)) I understand.

[Mediator] And the footprints?

[Luna] Those stay.

[Reyes] Forever?

[Luna] No atmosphere.

punchline: Because it needed space!