Why is Peter Pan always flying?

setup: Why is Peter Pan always flying?

[TSA Agent] qua blue gloves, scanner wand, name tag PEGGY Sir. Boarding pass. Photo ID.

[Peter Pan] qua green tights, slight float, hands in pockets, slightly impatient I don’t have one.

[TSA Agent] Sir. You can’t board a flight without a boarding pass.

[Peter Pan] I’m not boarding.

[TSA Agent] Then what are you doing.

[Peter Pan] ((LEVITATES SIX INCHES)) Flying.

[TSA Agent] ((LONG BEAT)) Sir. That’s not how we do flight here.

[Peter Pan] It’s how I do flight.

[Shakes] qua TSA trainee with a clipboard, beaming This is the best of all possible security checkpoints.

[TSA Agent] Sir. FAA regulations require aircraft.

[Peter Pan] I’m an aircraft.

[TSA Agent] You are a boy.

[Peter Pan] I am a boy who is also a flight*.

[TSA Agent] Have you ever landed?

[Peter Pan] Briefly. Once. In 1953. I came down to tie my shoe. I did not stay down.

[TSA Agent] ((SCANNING)) The system shows you have eleven thousand four hundred recorded flight hours and zero landings.

[Peter Pan] Yes.

[TSA Agent] Where is your destination?

[Peter Pan] Always more sky.

[Manyfeek] qua tiny pixie companion fluttering by his shoulder, glaring ((FLITTING)) He never lands. He has never landed. He sleeps midair. We are all very tired.

[TSA Agent] Sir, you cannot not land. The FAA requires —

[Peter Pan] The FAA doesn’t apply to me.

[TSA Agent] By what mechanism.

[Peter Pan] I am a concept.

[TSA Agent] Concepts pay taxes.

[Peter Pan] Yet I don’t.

[TSA Agent] ((WRITING)) I’m flagging this for the supervisor.

[Peter Pan] Tell her I won’t be here.

punchline: Because he Neverlands.