I used to be a baker.

setup: I used to be a baker.

[BILL] suited, very nice hair, very expensive suit, smug Well, I’m here at the request of Boudin and Pillsbury from downtown. Seems like you guys aren’t getting the job done.

[Shakes] qua baker. getting coffee Well, I just…

[BILL] yelling and pointing PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN!

[Shakes] qua baker. staring back What?

[BILL] yelling again PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN! Coffee is for bakers, and I certainly don’t see any bakers here.

[Manyfeek] qua angry baker. ::OBSCENITY REDACTED::, what do you mea…

[BILL] staring at [Manyfeek] Do YOU see my rolling pin! Do you see it? It costs more than your car!

[Manyfeek] Pfht! We can’t make any bread here. The flour is weak.

[BILL] If I took my rolling pin and that flour, I’d make five wedding cakes and a boudin loaf without taking my jacket off. Do YOU HEAR ME little baker boy. I’m here with the real skills. Baking skills that I learned by baking at TOP BAKERIES. Boudin? He learned it from me. I said to him. Let the dough sit out like it’s cheese. Next thing you know. Billions! What have you done?

[Manyfeek] qua scared baker. Uh. Uh. Some hot cross buns.

[BILL] mocking “Uh. Uh. Some hot cross buns?!” Is that your idea of baking?!

[BILL] announcing Pillsbury wants a baking contest now. First prize, a free shot on the Cooking Network with your own show. Second prize, a set of pie weights. Third prize, pack it up!

[Shakes] That’s that’s just impossible. What kind of place are you running here?!

[BILL] angry A BAKERY! I need bakers not wimps.

[BILL] “Oh I used to be a baker. Tough gig. Yeah.” Get OUT if you can’t bake!

punchline: But I couldn’t make enough dough.