Drag Show

i am sassy, fine and ready to give down some JUDGEMENT!

i see my five inch finger nails and sparkly pink evening gown. next to me sits my sister, KayCEE y’all!!! and to her right is my uhhhther uhhhther sister, that’s right, it’s ManyfeekThunder::OBSCENITY REDACTED::!! And you know, we can’t do this thing at all without my main gal: ShoshannaShakesABananaaaaaaaaaaaH!!!!

[BILL] dancing in seat Let’s get the party started, y’alllllll!

[ShoshannaShakesABanana] spins a record on her DJ’ turntable and points back at [BILL]

[ManyfeekThunder::OBSCENITY REDACTED::] clapping rhymically over her head

[KayCEE] making a “seven” with her hands. points at us and gives a kiss.

[GAMS] in levis. bobbing and swaying in the background.

((SEXY DISCO MUSIC STARTS)) ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ? ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ?

((GIANT SPARKLY SIGN DROPS DOWN))

((SIGN FLASHES)) 18TH CENTURY SATIRIST DRAG SHOOOOW!

[VOLTAIRE] qua VOLTAAAAAAIRE! ((struts confidently foward. eyes locked. starts his hips to sway. arms up high!)) ((sings with beat of sexy disco music)) C’est moi! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE smiles)) C’est vrai! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE tut tuts with a finger wag)) C’est moi! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE smiles)) C’est vrai! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE mock exasperated)) ((singing a bit more)) Oui, c’est moi, Voltaire. ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE assumes pose)) Oui, Voltaire, en personne. ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE assumes different pose)) Oui, c’est bien moi, Voltaire. ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE assumes sassiest pose)) ((sings with beat of sexy disco music)) C’est moi! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE smiles))
C’est vrai! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE tut tuts with a finger wag)) C’est moi! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE smiles)) C’est vrai! ((VOLTAAAAAAIRE excited))

[VOLTAIRE] struts! flings hands up! triumphant finish and bow to nobody clapping VOLTAAAAAIRE!

((MUSIC SLOWS)) [VOLTAIRE] sweating and daubing. waiting.

((tapping.))

[KayCEE] unbelieving. annoyed. What was that? Is that what you wore to the show? Same outfit?!

[VOLTAIRE] stamping foot. wearing five foot tall collar. Merde, et puis quoi encore ! ::SUBTITLED: Fuck, this again!::

[VOLTAIRE] spins around proudly and stomps off the show!

[BILL] looking down his nose Bitch!

[ShoshannaShakesABanana] turns up the music! ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ? ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ?

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! does not speak. ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!)) ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!))

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!)) ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!))

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!)) ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!))

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!)) ((comes dancing down the aisle. hands spin! hands spin!))

((MUSIC SLOWS)) [Montesquieu] sweating and daubing. waiting. silent.

[ManyfeekThunder::OBSCENITY REDACTED::] Is that ::OBSCENITY REDACTED:: it, then? hands spins?

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! pleading. ((does dancing down the aisle but summarized in motion))

[ManyfeekThunder::OBSCENITY REDACTED::] No, I SAW THAT TOO. BUT THAT’S WHOLE BIT!?!

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! ((turns, sobs and runs off to the left.))

[ShoshannaShakesABanana] reaching out to [Montesquieu] It’s ok, girl! Come back…

[Montesquieu] qua Montesquieu!Montesquieu! keeps running

[ManyfeekThunder::OBSCENITY REDACTED::] starts clapping

((SEXY DISCO MUSIC STARTS)) ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ? ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ?

[Diderot] qua DIDIro Oh DIDIro. dancing abstractly. ((holding mirror and a tapeworm. sexy dance, down the aisle)) yeah yeah its DIDIro Oh DIDIro ((holding mirror and a tapeworm. sexy dance, down the aisle)) what’s that in mirror Qui est-ce ? yeah yeah its DIDIro Oh DIDIro hey hey keep that tapeworm far away! Oh DIDIRo! Oh Oh It’s DIDIRo!

[Diderot] collapses on the floor.

((MUSIC STOPS)) [Diderot] up from floor. sweating and daubing. waiting.

[BILL] I’m sorry, but that’s some sick ::OBSCENITY REDACTED:: stuff you did right there, sister. I’m sorry. I’m just out.

[Diderot] walks off haughtily.

((SEXY DISCO MUSIC STARTS)) up again ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ? ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ?

[Caron de Baumarchais] qua DaBaumarchais CaronCanon DaBaumarchais. rapping. ((beat note)) DaBaumarchais CaronCanon DaBaumarchais ((mike close to face. and hands gesticulating)) ((beat note)) sings so great he throw some shade throw some shade ((mike close to face. and hands gesticulating)) ((beat note)) that’s right he the DaBaumarchais ((pointing at self)) ((beat note)) CaronCanon DaBaumarchais ((pulling shirt to show a logo of himself out of drag)) ((beat note)) sings so great he throw some shade ((mike close to face. and hands gesticulating)) ((beat note)) CaronCanon DaBaumarchais ((mike close to face. dancing in circle now)) ((beat note)) CaronCanon DaBaumarchais ((completes her circle)) ((beat note)) CaronCanon DaBaumarchais! ((looks straight and judges and poses!))

((MUSIC SLOWS)) [Caron de Baumarchais] sweating and daubing. waiting.

[ShoshannaShakesABanana] [BILL] [ManyfeekThunder::OBSCENITY REDACTED::] ((stand and hit the big yellow button on the front of the desk)) You made it to Seville! ((sparkley spakley sparkley))

[Caron de Baumarchais] qua DaBaumarchais CaronCanon DaBaumarchais ((Standing, crying)) Thank you! Thank you! I always knew I was the best! Thank you! Merci! ((runs off…))

((SEXY DISCO MUSIC STARTS)) up again ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ? ((music note)) OOH-OOH! Qui est-ce ?

[Chamfort] as Chaaamfert!Chaaamfert! ((starts doing the robot)) …. and we fade away ….