Bronto Cost of Care

i am elderly, tired and sitting on a plastic stool found under a tarp next to a modest home.

i see my shabby clothing and fan a wood fire under a bubbling waa bou. A long set of lystrosaurus bones are sticking out from the top and it is plain to see that they’ve been simmering for hours now. i stir and skim. then, Dr. Clamcheese comes out from the house to join me. He cracks his back and starts getting to work. i will mend the waa bou for him as he prepares the rest of the meal.

Dr. C (which he prefers back here away from the front) sniffs the broth and takes a small taste. He seems satisfied. He looks over his ingredient array that is ready for his touch. He leans over and fires off a burner from a downed F-14 and set it to afterburner. He unhooks a blacked and very large wok from the wall. Then, he places the wok on the roaring afterburner to heat. He takes a large bucket of cold water and dumps into the awaiting wok.

While the water heats, he pulls down a very dry natovenator, cups his face over the beak and blows hard. The skin of the bird lifts, and Dr. C coats the birds skin with hot water. The skin clamps down on the flesh while Dr. C applies the red varnish across the entire dinos body. He pops the bird under the jet blast, his personal technique, to speed the hang time to seconds. Then he takes the dino back to a guàlú fired by jujube for roasting.

Dr. C cores out a winter melon and begins to carve into its side. He carefully inscribes a rampaging Godzilla shooting nuclear blasts at a very deserving phantasy alien city. After an hour or so, the entire melon is a complete metaphor of what Godzilla is and will be. He places that down and checks on the natovenator. The dino’s color looks good and the fat is rendering well. He moves the dino a bit to insure that the cooking is very even relative to the size of each dino piece and how well the fire is burning. He seems somewhat satisfied, sighs and moves on.

He clears out his wok with a splash of water that instantly evaporates due the incandescent heat from the F-14 roaring underneath it. He has a metal spatula in one hand and another on the wok. His spatula slices to containers and liquids that atomize on the hot metal. Walnuts are spinning with hot sugar glaze and the wok and the spatula slap in an articulated rhythm. The nuts are fully candied and placed to cool. The wok is cleaned and left to heat a bit.

Dr. C turns, looks disappointed at a smallish twelve foot Xiphactinus but the eyes are clear and the smell is good, and scales/guts the dino in one swift motion. He and [BILL] carry the dino over to the 20 foot long steamer in back and drop it in.

They both return back to their places. [BILL] checks the natovenator and gives Dr. C a thumbs up before continuing fanning the lystrosaurus soup. Dr. C’s wok is back in place and some oil dropped in starts immediately boiling. [BILL] drops off three, very cleaned two foot long anomalocaris next to Dr. C who grunts his thanks. Dr C. dusts each dino with corn starch and drops them quickly into the oil for moments. The dinos are fished out with a spider sieve and left to cool. The chef cleans the wok with water, the spatula speeds over various ingredients, and the dinos and the nuts are returned for a quick coating. The entire dish is perfectly plated over steamed river greens that [BILL] prepared earlier. One done.

Dr. C and [BILL] take a very large shovel out to the 20 foot long steamer and lever the dino onto a wheeled plate designed for steamed dino. they walk the fish back to the wok. Dr. C quickly heats soy and scallion and covers the dino. Two done.

Dr. C opens his winter melon gift to art and pours the hot lystrosaurus soup inside of it. The Godzilla appears to come to life and now the nuclear blasts are steaming correctly. Three done.

[BILL] carries the perfectly lacquered natovenator back to Dr. C where he waits with a square piàn dāo. Dr. C achieves 108 perfect skin and meat slices or bǎi líng bā dāo. [BILL] places steamed buns, scallion ionic columns and sweet, sweet dark sauce on the plate. Four done.

[BILL] walks quickly back with six amber spheres. Dr. C takes a cleaver to each one. Each orb is transformed into a dragon’s eye and the mosquito is left just bare. Five done.

Dr. C looks over it all. Sighs and says: Good enough. Send it out.