Rain Man

i am in my forties, hunched over, rocking back and forth slightly, and both looking and not looking at my computer screen.

it was a typical tuesday. i have six windows up with each playing a different training video. i must complete this work so the company is convinced that i am not completely unhirable. This happens yearly like a checkup. Let’s make sure Bill should still be employed here:

[BILL] rocking back and forth slightly. hands in lap. looking both at and away from monitor Yeah. Definitely another micro aggression during micro aggression training. Yeah. One hundred and, one hundred and ninety six micro aggressions. Definitely one hundred and ninety six micro aggressions during micro aggression training. Yeah.

[BILL] writing in small notebook One hundred and, one hundred and ninety six micro aggressions. Yeah. One hundred and, one hundred and ninety si- seven micro aggressions. Yeah. One new micro aggression while logging micro aggressions in log. Yeah.

[Bobby Shakes] via IM This is the best of all possible ways to learn important information.

[BILL] via IM Yeah. Twenty-tw, Twenty-three hours of training left. Yeah. Twenty-two hours now of training. Uh OH! Uh OH! Uh OH!

[Bobby Shakes] via IM What’s wrong Billy? Are you ok?

((ONE OF [BILL]’s SCREEN POPUPS COVER PART OF THE SCREEN. THE COUNTDOWN IS NOW BLOCKED))

[BILL] screaming! ALL PROGRESS LOST! ALL PROGRESS LOST! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH!

[Bobby Shakes] now on video after sonic alarm in [BILL]’s house alerts him It’s GOING TO BE OK, BILL!

[BILL] screaming! beating head! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! NOT AGAIN! ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY SIX…

[Bobby Shakes] video chatting. BILL! LOOK FOR THE HIDDEN X IN THE CORNER WINDOW OF THE VIDEO! Your progress is right there. OK?

(([BILL] closes the popup dialog))

[BILL] rocking back and forth slightly. hands in lap. looking both at and away from monitor Yeah. Twenty-three hours of training left. Definitely. Thanks Shakes. Yeah. Bobb-Baby Shakes. Yeah. Definitely. [BILL] take care of Baby yeah. Definitely leave baby in sandbox.

[Bobby Shakes] via IM Pshaw. I’m glad you found it.

(([BILL] sees something in the background of [Bobby]’s image ))

[BILL] screaming! tearing out hair! (which is impressive as he’s quite bald) AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! BABY SHAKES STAY AWAY FROM BROWN SNAKE! AAAAAAAAAH!

[Bobby Shakes] looks away from monitor and sees brown snake on the floor. It’s just a kingsnake. It’ll be fine. I’ll talk to you soon ok?

[BILL] rocking back and forth slightly. hands in lap. looking both at and away from monitor Yeah. OK. Bobby’s good. OK. Yeah. Definitely. Bobby’s good.

[BILL] getting up Yeah. OK. Time for waffles. Yeah. Definitely time for waffles. Yeah. Brain work hard. Definitely too much time on training today. Yeah.

[Bobby Shakes] looking down at snake. Hey, little guy? How are you?

[BROWN SNAKE] opens jaws, levers [Bobby Shakes] inside. Yum!

[BILL] in the distance faint Yeah. OK. Thanks. Definitely need maple syrup. Definitely. Yeah. Thanks, Lesley!