Twinkiemagic

TwinkieMagic

I’m in my forties sitting in the Kinesso pit.

I watch as android is walking towards the exit. He has the “bleeding edge” and is dragging his blockchain behind him. He is being pelted with garbage and the occasional beer can. He’s leaving today and we’re sad to see him go. His face is covered by an A5 page where he has his face printed with a smile. “You can take this as well” and a data vault design manual rebounds off his head.

As he’s leaving, I reminisce of the “good” times with android. Fun things like “HEY BILL HOW MANY FINGERS BEHIND BACK?”, “Uh, three, android?”, “HAHAHAHA BILL SO STUPID” as he shows me a festooned hand of digits and thumbs “23! HAHAHAH”. Fun things like “BILL ASK WHY AGAIN. WHERE FRIES? HAHAHAHA”. He was always so fun.

Android is leaving as some of his decisions ended up not working very well. His primary goal, the automation of every report ever known to man in one go, was handed to a company called TwinkieMagic, a FUBU project, software made by idiots for idiots. TwinkieMagic was well named and made reasonable twinkies but unfortunately our clients were interested in SnoBalls and HoHos.

I’m sitting with a woman who is indefatigable. I see her hands covered in yellow sponge, I see the piles of coconut and pink spray paint, the chocolate and the rolling machine. She’s converting twinkies all day. She has aspirations that I have given her. “I will help you” as, of course, she was to report to me. She loves that I’m her new boss as people had heard that I talk and ask about people who report to me.

She’s willing to do this forever. She just wants a nice job and a nice life. Her aspirations are the best.

I’m moved off later. You see, I need to be forever moving between Acxiom and Kinesso these years. She loses me. They kill TwinkieMagic and fire this wonderful person because all she knows is Twinkie shit. The shit they wanted her to do.