Buck Arrives to the Party

Ch_003_000: Buck arrives to the party

Buck awoke several times during the long drive. He was unsure where they were going now. It seemed like Tufshet did not know how to get back to WoofWoof’s somehow. Perhaps the dog would stop and ask another for help soon? Maybe WoofWoof was someplace far from home?

He was a bit worried and it was getting colder. Buck looked out at endless fields of white, and thought the dogs out here were very poor gardeners. Even the trees had no leaves and most flowers lacked his personal sense of panache.

He regretted not eating what was in his bowl earlier. He remembered he liked a kind of food before, but the memory was fading. He did not like being hungry and called out a bit, “YAHOO? YAHOO? YAHOO?”

He hoped Tufshet would stop and they might eat and he could use some grass. However, the grass was nowhere to be seen.

He did not want to defecate or urinate in his cell. This was a grave, grave dogsin. Dogs had taught humans their ways and dogsin was not something a smart human would ever do. Defecating or urinating on any other surface than grass was probably one of the worst things he could possibly imagine doing. So, he was always careful to eat and drink only what he absolutely needed — even when he felt he’d like more. He did not want to commit a dogsin by overeating and just urinating in his pants.

Buck was relieved when the speedhouse stopped and his face was smashed into the door. He spun in several circles waiting as he could hear Tufshet from the front getting out. Buck hopped from foot to foot as he waited. He hoped the dog would move faster but Buck would not sin. He was a very good human.

Buck looked out between the bars and he could not understand what he was seeing. There were so many losers outside. So many humans in shabby clothing who obviously had loser masters. He couldn’t wait to tell them all off as soon as he could get out of this cell. Tufshet finally appeared outside his cell and Buck was too excited to keep quiet, “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!”

Tufshet barked a bit at Buck, “Ho! Buck! Ho! Buck!” The dog opened the door and Buck ran at full tilt towards the other humans. Buck was violently jerked backwards by the leather strap attached to his neck. Tufshet had the other end in his hand and Buck strained as hard as he could to move the big dog. He pulled so hard he started to hack and cough. He just had to tell everyone off as soon as possible.

Some of the humans already there started in on him. “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!” they all screamed.

Buck knew it was on. His teeth were fully bared and ready to debate fully. “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!” Buck replied to a huge collection of losers. One loser ran up and lunged when the rope tied to his neck snapped him back like a stupid squirrel. Buck decided that loser’s name would be “Squirrel” from that point forward. Losers always had loser names, and everyone knew that squirrels were the universe’s biggest loser of them all.

Tufshet kept him away from the other losers and tied his lead to a stake in the ground. Buck immediately ran towards the nearest loser and put him in his place with several bon mots, “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!” Buck pitied the response from his nearest neighbor as it was clear he had not been well raised with his sad little, “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!” So dumb, he thought. He would call this one “Not Oscar Wilde Squirrel.”

Buck, after dominating his first two losers, found another one to his left. “YAHOO!” Buck sneered. He loved when he could off a loser with a single, precise phrase with just the right texture to really put someone in their place. He laughed as his third victim was left in tears and holding its spike in fear.

Buck thought to himself, “Man, this is just the best” as he “YAHOO”ed until the sun set over the crowd of yelling tied humans.