Buck on the Road

Ch_002_000: Buck on the road

Buck woke up a bit groggy. His hair was standing up and could use a mango rinse conditioning. He looked around for any hot rock stations or Himalayan pink salt enemas and was confused. He had been sleeping for some time and it seemed to be the morning. There were some non-seitan items in his food bowl. He sniffed at it, but it smelt like losing; therefore, he left it alone.

He saw his suitcase here which was a surprise. It was his large RIMOWA classic and had a few new dents that he did not appreciate. WoofWoof must have left it? He did not remember packing anything, but WoofWoof tended to do that sort of thing. Buck certainly never knew when or why he would need his suitcase, but here it was.

He opened up the bag and found all sorts of very nice new clothing. It was obvious that WoofWoof was concerned about his well-being and thought he might need warm clothing. He did not have a nice furry coat growing out of his skin like a dog. So, his owner would always make sure he had the correct clothing for whatever came next.

Buck put on the multiple pairs of pants after deciding the correct order. The ArrReeEyee logo was very subtle and classy like him. Tight, looser and loose was his best idea on how to apply his own clothing. Sometimes he’d get it wrong and WoofWoof would just undress him and put the clothes on correctly. That always helped Buck, and Buck was always very proud if he managed to get it right on his own.

Buck stared at the tops and saw that it was multiple layers. He put it all on as best as he could manage. Buck started to sweat heavily and fanned his face. He saw some water in a large cylinder with a metal spout that ran through the bars into his cell. He sucked on the spout and cool fresh water filled his mouth. Buck loved to drink some fresh water. Perfect for when you’ve been sweating and man, he was really hot sitting here in these clothes. He hoped WoofWoof would be taking him to wherever soon as it was very hot.

Buck sat for a few hours and took a nap or two before Tufshet appeared. “Tufshet! Tufshet! Rup! Buck! Rup! Buck!” the large dog said to him from outside the cell.

Tufshet was twenty-five feet tall and had grey and black fur. Unlike WoofWoof, Tufshet’s snout was sharper and its eyes were steel blue. Buck was a bit confused as, well, he knew that he should run when he heard “Rup! Buck!” but he’d never heard anyone but WoofWoof say that. Did this mean Buck should run to WoofWoof? Did this mean Buck should run to Tufshet?! Why would he run to Tufshet? How could he run to anyone in a cell? So, he turned his head to the left and right. This had helped WoofWoof understand that Buck did not understand, and to Buck’s delight, Tufshet seemed to understand that he was confused.

“Rup! Buck! Rup! Buck!” said Tufshet again as he opened the cell. Buck took a chance and ran up to Tufshet and sat in front of him criss-cross-apple-sauce. He tried to make his eyes look as helpful as possible. Buck liked to be good, smart, and if he could be helpful, he became very happy.

“Ho! Buck! Ho! Buck!” replied Tufshet when Buck sat down. Buck was thrilled as he knew that “Ho! Buck!” was associated with good, smart humans and he was happy that Tufshet was happy with him. He hoped that WoofWoof would invite Tufshet to the farm someday. Tufshet seemed like a good dog and maybe he liked to play? That would be amazing! Buck loved to play. Maybe now would be a good time to try a game?

Buck squatted and did a full bow at the waist. This always got another human ready to play and it worked on almost every dog as well. “Het. Buck. Het.” said Tufshet.

“Het” was not associated with good humans. Buck was disappointed and sat back down. Tufshet did not want to play. So, he sat and waited. He was not overly concerned when Tufshet attached a leather strap to his neck. He smiled as the dog tugged him out of the cell.

He walked out into the hallway and saw multiple losers in cells. He yelled at them to tell them how much losing they were doing just by being them immediately, “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!”

Some loser tried to point at Buck and then it was on. Buck snarled and spat at the currently caged human and they both fired off “YAHOO!” until Tufshet broke up the disagreement.

“Het! Buck! Het! Rex! Het! Buck! Het! Rex!” said Tufshet to the two fighting humans.

Buck stopped after the second “Het. Buck.” Dogs would get very angry after a few “Het Bucks,” Buck had learned over his three years of life. He hoped he would remember it until he was an old twenty-year-old with white hair everywhere.

Rex was not as smart as Buck and continued his racket. Tufshet smacked the bars of the cell with some heavy metal tube. The noise was shocking and both Rex and Buck sat and stared at the dog. “Ho. Ho. Ho.” said the dog. Both humans relaxed as the dog seemed calmer now.

Tufshet pulled Buck further down the hallway as Buck spat quickly in Rex’s face before he could get a shot back at him. “YAHOO!” he added with wide eyes and a sneer as they left this strange place.

The dog led the human to a strange speedhouse. Half of the thing was open to the air and there was a portable cell strapped back there. It was colder outside and Buck was now grateful for WoofWoof’s gifts. His sweat was replaced with a foggy breath. Buck loved a foggy breath and so, he made an attempt to breathe as much as possible to take advantage of his good luck.

“Ho! Buck! Ho! Buck!” said Tufshet and he pointed a paw at the opening of the portable cell. There was a ramp for him to use to get up to the cell and, then, he could sit inside. Buck looked around for WoofWoof as he’d never been in a strange speedhouse before; however, he knew what Tufshet wanted, and well, he liked making dogs happy. So, he ambled up the ramp and sat in the cell. He smiled at Tufshet while the dog closed the cell door.

Buck wondered if Tufshet was going to be the one to drive him home to WoofWoof? That suited him just fine. He was thinking about his first seitan meal as he was getting hungry. He was sure that another meal would be offered soon as, well, it was closing in on midday.

The human was thinking about starting some asanas in the cell when it suddenly jerked forward. Buck was thrown into the cell door and smashed his face into the bars. He fell back and smiled through the pain from his face. He tried to remember how long WoofWoof had traveled to get here. He did not remember it being very long so, he started to circle in his cell as they traveled. He was very excited to get back home and see everyone at the farm again.

The ride went longer than he expected and he sat down. From time to time, he would be thrown off his feet so he decided to lie down to avoid having to stand back up each time. Then, it was a simple matter to close his eyes and just take another nap. As he fell asleep, he was happy as the farm was obviously where he would awaken.