Buck Joins the Team

Ch_004_000: Buck joins the team

Buck woke up cold but his nice clothes kept him warm. He wondered why he was dressed so much better than anybody else, but the fact that he was obviously the best around made him very happy. So many losers, “Basic Squirrel”, “Not Oscar Wilde Squirrel” and “Sad Keanu Squirrel” were all afraid to meet his eyes. “YAHOO” Buck thought to himself and he laughed at his own wit.

He was about to make another loser feel worse when Tufshet walked out into the middle of the group and started guiding humans over to a line of bowls. Buck laughed at the losers who yelled their pathetic, “YAHOOS!” However, he was very jealous watching them chow down whatever was inside those bowls. He was so very hungry and could not remember his last meal. Buck was quite stout and strong so he wasn’t too worried being dominated anytime soon but he felt like eating.

Tufshet came over to Buck and the human greeted the dog. Tufshet said “Ho! Buck! Ho.” as they walked over to the bowls. Buck found a few folks along the way to insult and was placed in front of a large bowl. He relished the pile of buttered noodles and frankfurters with relish. Buck thought this was easily the most delicious food he had ever tasted, but he had a hard time remembering eating anything at all really. This food, he thought, must be what the best human of all gets to eat.

Buck’s food-based bliss was interrupted when Tufshet yanked his leather lead. He spat out what he had in his mouth as the dog dragged him slightly over to a strange device. Buck wondered what this might be and he asked Tufshet for any hints with a few well-placed words, “YAHOO? YAHOO? YAHOO?” Tufshet did not understand him and started to tie his lead to the device. Buck saw a complex system of what appeared to be either a very aggressive set of common suspenders or maybe some kind of lederhosen fractal?

Some loser was tied in front of Buck via a set of straps and he just hated that. “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!” he complained bitterly to the world about this obvious injustice. Buck did not want to look at this loser’s ass for any longer than he had to, and like, he was tied RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Buck could barely see anything other than this person’s butt and well, he did not like that at all.

Buck was thinking of how he might find a way in front of this loser somehow, but Tufshet’s ability to control him via leather straps was perfect. Dogs could do almost anything they wanted to, but Buck could never figure out why a dog did anything really. Their ways were just too complex for a simple human to ever really comprehend. Buck knew his place but still wanted to not see this butt anymore.

Suddenly, Tufshet was standing on the strange device and barked out, “Moosh! Moosh!” Buck was surprised when all the humans immediately ran away from Tufshet as hard as they could. Buck had never been given a command to run away so this was very strange. However, he loved the exercise. “YAHOO! YAHOO!” thought Buck as his body strained and pulled the leather straps that connected back to Tufshet.

With the combined effort of all the humans working in a straight line away from Tufshet, the entire device started to move behind them. The dog was on some kind of open-air, fully-stocked speedhouse that the humans could spend ALL DAY PULLING! Buck was thrilled! A speedhouse powered by humans! An ALL-DAY WALK! This is the best idea ever from a dog! He was ecstatic and pulled as hard as he could.

The loser in front of him was getting tired. Buck thought he was holding them up and bit that loser’s ass hard to motivate the entire team. “YAHOO! YAHOO! YAHOO!” he yelled in joy as the ass in front of him jumped in response.

The team ran for about 50 miles and Buck was feeling amazing. All that air and good solid exercise left him with an incredible endorphin rush, and Buck felt the need to feed on noodles studded with the pink gems of homogenous sausage.

The food was, like, the best. Then, it just seemed like it would be a full day with a dog and the ALL DAY PULL was just starting. Buck could not believe his luck. Somebody did love him, he knew this now, but he really couldn’t place who. “YAHOO?” he thought to himself as he tried to remember something red, but it didn’t come. What was coming was that slow guy’s butt again, and Buck knew just what to do next. Could life get any better, the man thought, as he bit a loser’s ass once again.