Wawa

Ch_006_000: Wawa, Ontario

I sit in comfort as the dog I found on the highway drives me. The dog whimpers as I have threatened to cut him several times, ||Please do not hurt me!|| I have finally found a way to get dogs to listen: something sharp in your hands. I get out of the car in downtown Wawa and my pressed Dog-ber peels out in panic.

I look at my audience. Good. Almost everyone. That one eyeball on old blondo must be myopic or something. Let me listen and see what might be happening over there. ||What’s that, girl? You’re going to give birth?!||

-212EB

Heh. I guess they are getting desperate, but I’ll need to keep pushing harder now.

“Hello everyone. Welcome to Wawa! I bet I have a problem that only The Littlest Hobo can solve! We sure solved those missing puppies last week!” I say to the ever widening eyes looking back at me.

-147EB

I sit in front of the Wawa Goose Statue. The two dog tourists are here. The first says, ||This one is the best so far. Look at the majesty! The fish named after a dog in that last town should come to visit. This is a real BIG thing and not a pun!||

The statue shows a scene: a man pinching another on the backside. Dogs are just crazy. You never know what makes them happy; that is for sure. I like the tourists and leave them be. Then, I see it. There’s a sign on a post.

-119EB

It shows two pictures of a human toddler wearing orange with scribbling around it I do not understand. I bet he’s missing. Hm. Where would a toddler be? I know, I’ll check the dumpsters behind the nearest market! Kids love to eat and just love dumpsters!

-84EB

The walk to the market is pretty short and wouldn’t you know it, I hear some rustling inside the dumpster out back. I pull open the cover and see three squinting pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Hey, man! You ever hear of knocking? What’s the deal!” says an older man with gray fuzz on his skin and a long, thin, fleshy tail. Before I can answer, an elderly woman that looks very similar to the older man says, “This is our home! Do you have any decency sir!”

I see the toddler as well. He is happily eating some bread that has mold growing on one side. He is eating a white part and not the green.

I address the elderly couple, “Sorry to intrude, but who is the kid?”

The woman is defensive and says, “What is it to you? He’s our boy and we love him!”

I ask, “You seem a bit old to have a toddler?”

The older man yells back, “You seem to be rude? Why do we need to answer your questions?”

I laugh and say, “You don’t” and I pick up the toddler as they scream their protestation. Both attempt to get out of the dumpster, but I manage to close and latch the lid.

“Don’t leave us locked in here!” yells the old woman. I shrug and note, “I think you have plenty of food and a dog should be there to refill your supply at any moment. Good day!”

I walk away with the toddler holding two fingers. I ask him, “Hey little fella? What’s your name?”

The young boy looks at me under his orange eared hoodie. “My name is Kat. Meow. Meow. Meow.”

“Do you know where home is, Kat?” I ask.

Kat says, “Yep, but I cannot get there. It is just far away and I do not have a ride.”

I am confused and say, “Kat? How the heck did you get here in the first place then? I think someone is looking for you?”

Kat answers upwards to me, “Well, my parents live next to a KatMover. He saw me and moved me here.”

I am very confused, “I’m sorry, Kat, but what is a KatMover?”

Kat seems stunned and says, “A dog that moves Kats, of course? The name is pretty clear?”

“I’m sorry, Kat. You are right. Was the KatMover hired to pick you back up? Is there an app we could use?” I ask plainly.

The toddler shrugs and says, “We did not really discuss much at all. He just said, ‘Hi, I’m your neighbor, KatMover. I understand you are a Kat. Please come with me.’ I’m the agreeable sort, so, I assumed KatMover was official and, off we went. He drove me here and dropped me off. Then he left. Those folks in the dumpster let me live there and they shared their food. The bread is ok but even the white parts make me feel funny.”

-103EB

“Well, Kat. I guess that makes me the KatReMover! Hop on my shoulders and I’ll walk you straight back. I bet your folks didn’t remember which day they ordered KatMover and it’s all a big misunderstanding.” I say.

Kat smiles and makes the classic “uppies” hands in the air. I swing Kat up and he’s a bit uncertain.

“Wow. It’s really high up here. Um, is your name KatReMover or, is that a job title, or maybe a competitive brand to KatMover?” says Kat. He’s found a reasonable grip on my forehead and is now much more comfortable.

“Well, I am un-named and un-jobbed beyond the continual need to supply entertainment to a ghost eyeball audience you can see here?” I say and point to the masses of eyeballs looking in at us.

-137EB

The toddler looks out and says, “I always wondered what that was. I thought the bread was at fault. I’m glad you can see it too.”

“So, Kat? Point me towards home and let’s solve this little mystery!” I say.

The toddler points towards a path into the dark. We walk. The toddler bounces a bit as I walk. There is no one here but the child and I. We continue into the dark and I feel Kat’s hands grip a bit tighter.

-91EB

I offer, “Are we still going the right way? How much further?”

He says, “I’m not sure, but I know we need to go over a bridge first. My mother always told me to never cross it alone. The water is kinda deep and I cannot swim.”

I say, “That’s good to know, Kat. I will be very careful. I think I see the bridge entrance now.”

We walk across the bridge and I can hear the rushing water far below; however, the water cannot be seen in the darkness. We get to the mid point of the span. We stop for a second. We continue on and after a bit there is a very large splash that echoes up from the deep.

At the end of the bridge, I take Kat off my shoulders. I look at the eyeballs and note, “Dread is its own entertainment?” Kat shrugs and says, “Are you ready to take me home yet?”

-68EB

“Yep. Just needed a rest. Wonder what that splash was? Anyhow. Are you ready? You should walk around a bit. Get the blood flowing or you’ll have tingly legs by the time we get back to your home,” I say.

-55EB

Kat toddles, which is age-appropriate and not related to a lack of blood-flow, and I pick him up. I know where he feels comfortable now and we get into a solid, toddler qua bike helmet of sorts.

The pathway to Kat’s home is simple to follow and he points out a nice home. I put the toddler down and he walks up to the door. He scratches on the screen and the noise summons a dog.

The dog barks, ||LOOK! IT’S KAT! HE’S BACK FROM THE SUPERMARKET!||

I stand sheepishly by and then note to Kat, “They’re glad you’re back, Kat. Not sure about the mix-up? But, you’re back now? The first ReMove is free! So, enjoy!”

Kat smiles back and says, “Thanks, KatReMover! That was a much better experience!”

I look at Kat and say, “Yeah! I’m here to kill the competition! Next time I see you out there! I’ll make sure to pick you up as a return customer for half-off the other guy!”

-128EB

Kat toddles off and waves before the dog takes him inside.

As I walk into the next door house to find the KatMover, I remove my blade. His home is littered with his merchandise for ‘KatMover.com’. I see pamphlets with pictures of a dog taking a human dressed in a furry costume into his car. There’s a large board with tally marks that appear to be the number of Kats the KatMover has moved so far compared to his multi-level marketing team working under him.

-61EB

I see my audience in tatters and I fall to my knees. What else can I do here? Mastereye pushes, “You need to do something, London. The competition is killing us here.”

-94EB

I mentally hope, “I need a night. I need another night in Wawa.”

Mastereye sighs, “OK. It’ll need to be great.”

I close my eyes as “To Be Continued …” appears in the air.

-73EB