Ch 09dot05 — Emergency court
Bob watched as the emergency glass was broken and the Zoom was taken from the case. Zoom was dusted off and Bob looked at it carefully as it was volatile but useful when something awful happens. Otherwise, ether was preferred. This was just old legal stuff that people still hung onto, a minor SI but no one cared enough to do the work to get rid of it.
BobG operated the Zoom interface at Bob’s request, “This looks slightly poisonous to my brain, BobG. Please keep as much of it away from eyes, OK?”
BobG managed to suppress the seven thousand options that Zoom offered him and issue Zoom requests to the entire VDIC judiciary. Dusty looking screens of each member of the court appeared.
Salote’s mouth was moving but no one could hear what she was saying.
Bob offered the holy prayer from the past, “Thou art on moot. Please unmoot.”
Salote bowed her head, “My deeptheth sorrow. I am unmooted.”
The entire group said “Amen.”
Bob spoke to the group in the needed legal register to allow for invading someone’s privacy, “I stand in conflict. Conflict with CPRA the wise. Conflict with GoDPRo! Conflict with the DoMAn! Conflict with the DoSA!”
Bob yell-sang, “KEEEEEP THE DAAATA! KEEEEEP THE DAAATA! KEEEEEP THE DAAATA!” The rest of the group underpinned Bob, “SAFE-SECURE-OPEN-HONEST-EDITABLE-SAFE-SECURE-OPEN-HONEST-EDITABLE”
The VDIC’s members stopped.
“We know all. We see all. We know nothing. We see nothing. Unless…” said Cheeto solemnly.
Artoo whistled and IronGiant answered for glass, ” … must we know all and see all by us all here.”
Bob yell-sang, “KEEEEEP THE DAAATA! KEEEEEP THE DAAATA! KEEEEEP THE DAAATA!” The rest of the group underpinned Bob, “SAFE-SECURE-OPEN-HONEST-EDITABLE-SAFE-SECURE-OPEN-HONEST-EDITABLE”
The speaking totem is passed when Bob puts his virtual hand up in the corner of his Zoom pane.
Bob offered his evidence of need, “I seeth the bear. The bear had a meet.” Bob shook a stick filled with gravel to emphasize the horror.
Salote put her virtual Zoom hand up. Salote said, “Bob hath suffered for us all. Please continue, Bob.”
Bob said, “Bob saw evil. Bob saw bears with sugar drink. Bob feared.” Bob stomped a foot and put his hands into the air for his close.
Bob said, “Bob found evil,” and he shook the stick in the air in a circle. The court declared, “Evil is found. The first lock is broken.”
Bob said, “Bob looked at evil,” and he leaned and stared it down. The court offered, “Evil is seen. The second lock is broken.”
Bob said, “Bob touched evil,” and his hand shook in mock pain. The court suffered as well, “Evil is bourne. The third lock is broken.”
Bob whispered, “Bob saw the locks fall. The box is unlocked.” The court whispered back, “Evil is known. It must be typed and untyped if needed.”
Bob declared, “Bob found extra evil!” The court whispered back, “Evil is eternal. Summon the cone of the clean room now.”
The clean room descended. A clear bubble was now blocking the microphone of each participant. Bob waited for the judges to ask in unison through two layers of Zoomed plexiglass, “What extra evil requires even more evil, Bob!”
Bob said, “Bob found Cocaine in drink! Bob thinks nooooobooody…”
Salote broke the ceremony and the clean room disappeared upwards, “WHAT! Everybody. Bob is a go like now? Right?”
The judges gave Bob the permission with a couple nods and he left immediately to find New Coke.