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TARS and Bob sat outside a large building that said, “New Coke Factory”. This seemed a good place to get a sample of New Coke as, well, it seemed like the name and the purpose of the insides of the building probably match.

TARS had spotted a door that was only lightly guarded with a key pad as security, “See that door, Bob. I can subdue the guard and then we can use my hypno scanner on the key pa…”

Bob gave TARS a small kick in his backside, “Hm. I think I’ve a better idea. Follow me.”

Bob and TARS walked through the front door. A glasseptionist smiled as they entered. She asked the two humanoids, “Good morning. Are you here to sample the New Coke! It’s even better than the original from 1985!”

Bob smiled back and said, “Exactly. We are here to try New Coke. May we have a sample?”

The glasseptionist said, “Please watch this ether feed about New Coke and just Coke. Say it with me. Coke. Fizzzzzzz. Icy cold. OK. I’m starting to feel loose. Let’s keep the feelings going with some of your favorite Coke characters like, …

“Santa! Santa loves a Coke! And Blow… iing out candles!

“You must know sprite-boy. Those brown eyes! They are big and unblinking from all the Cocai…CocaCola!

“Why it’s SAM! He’s our Olympic Eagle and his big tie and jingoism are on full display for the annual, no drugs allowed, ever, ever, (except Coke Sports), national let’s waste a bunch of money on infra instead of I don’t know, feeding and housing people, to build ice rinks and”nests” for gymnasts to mangle themselves in some nationalistic orgy of waste… and COKE!

“But who can forget, that’s right, the totally safe and peaceful animals on earth, the gentle and mild Arctic Polar Bear! He’s dying for Coke as it fuels his joy watching the sun melt his habitat and he considers if he’s strong enough to take on that parking lotted huge-Walrus for dinner tonight? Walrus and Coke are a match made in heaven.”

… and the feed ended. Bob and TARS’ eyes were watering from the beautiful images they just were forced to watch somehow.

The glasseptionist pulled two plastic bottles from under the counter. Both appeared to be very cold. It had been some time since Bob had seen packaging and the bottle was a riot of red and brown waves promising the delights to come.

Bob picked up the two bottles and did not expose the copper shielding in his palms. He asked the glasseptionist if there was anything else. She merely said, “just $12.”

Bob was confused as he hadn’t seen a “dollar” in anything but historical videos. He didn’t want to steal but this was also foreign. He tried something he’d heard in an old play, “Uh. Do you take credit? I don’t have cash on my person right now.”

Bob hoped it didn’t sound like a phrasebook saying, but the glasseptionist was delighted by the response. She asked Bob, “We take MasterFlesh and VisaToTararus or you can open a CokeAddict Fan Card to charge against.”

Bob owned his flesh but didn’t think it would work for a payment. He certainly had no need for travel documents at all. People went wherever they wanted. Travel was driven by limitless energy and public transport was fast, efficient and ubiquitous so why add paperwork in the middle?

Bob tried this angle, “May I apply for a CokeAddict Fan Card and purchase this Coke today and pay for it later?”

The glasseptionist was again delighted to help, “Of course, please fill out this form.”

Bob knew about Forms, but also knew in this context she was talking about a data exchange through torture. This torture is a mix of the sinister trip of an unfortunately named dripping dropping on the forehead process and the non-singing, but almost as painful, legendary and real, depending on the meaning, Iron Maiden. The form would drip small boxes for things like “street address” and giant spaces for interesting facts like “do you have black lung on your father’s uncle’s third mother’s sister’s side from the 18th century say aye or nae in box 6 and move to 8 on the fullest moon of the harvest unless the tide winds come from the east” or “can you see?” This was often at the most critical moments of one’s life like losing one’s arm and needing a tourniquet applied to stem your blood pressure decline, only to see it raised after the invoice is supplied. Bob looked away for his own safety.

He agreed by assigning BobG the effort. BobG sighed, looked at the 500 fields and checkboxes on the glass page, and put in the needed data. BobG saw a new tally on his dashboard of Bob’s life: CokeAddict Fan Card -$12. BobG watched as it steadily changes second by second, “-12, -13, -14”. The loss of invisible wealth concerned neither of them, for as far as they were concerned, New Coke can have all the dollars in the world.

Bob thanked the glasseptionist, took the two bottles, and the humanoids left via the train.