Woggle Bug Tech Boss

i am in my forties and sitting in front of a large beetle and a glass cat.

i see the beetle, my new boss, Theodore H.C. The H.C. stands for highly compensated. The glass cat, with her pink brains as a set of rolling marbles, is also here from human resources. GAMS is watching the cat carefully for possible knee strikes and is poised to defend her master.

[GLASS CAT] spinning head so that brains start working It’s great to see you here, Bill. Let’s talk about your future here at BeetleAdCo.

[BILL] nodding. [GAMS] intently looking at cat.

[THEODORE HC] I think Bill has a great future here, GLASS CAT.

[Dr. Shakes] off to the side This is going to be the best of all possible career suggestions!

[THEODORE HC] All he needs to do is learn more. He’s got the raw materials, but we just need to get the right knowledge in that mush between the ears. Let’s drop all the dinosaurs out and get some facts in there! What do you say, Bill?

[BILL] worried. What do you have in mind?

[Dr. Shakes] off to the side This also should be the best of all possible career suggestions!

[GLASS CAT] viciously spinning head to think hard Have you ever considered a masters in dung rolling? An executive program you could do online after work?

[THEODORE HC] I got my online masters in coprophagia from the University of Phoenix last year. I can’t tell you what it’s done for my career!

[BILL] somewhat defeated. How much would that cost?

[GLASS CAT] quick head toss to keep thoughts moving Around $50,000?

[GAMS] starts a flying kick towards the [GLASS CAT]’s face but [BILL] catches the bot and puts it outside for safekeeping.

[BILL] re-seating himself after exiting [GAMS] That’s a bit steep. Anything I could start with first?

[THEODORE HC] A Udacity minidegree in pure shit handling?

[BILL] OK. That works for me.

[Dr. Shakes] Can I take the masters program if he doesn’t want to?