Relationship Management

i am in my thirties and starting my new career in technology (magic sprinkles sound and stars burst from corner of word)

i am staring intently at a telephone sitting in the middle of a breakout room micro table. A SmoothOperatorSade600 named Moe is sitting nearby and I am watching him intently. This is my new technology (magic sprinkles sound and stars burst from corner of word) mentor. We are relationship managers and have some difficult news to communicate to a key stakeholder. I am to observe how to deliver difficult news. As such, I’m ready to not talk and listen.

The phone is ringing. I see [Manyfeek] join us quietly. He whispers “Always great material during these calls…” and sits with a notepad in his lap. Someone picks up on the other side.

[Shemp and Curly] from phone hello. HELLO!

[Moe] talking into phone helloooooow!

[Moe] pulling collar NYUH! So, here’s the deal. We spent all the money!

[Curly] Why I otta! ((BANG! ZIPPER NOISE! PAN CRASH SOUND!))

[Shemp] hurt OOOOUCH!

[Shemp] hurt He said it! Not ME!

[Curly] Why I otta! ((MUCH LOUDER BANG! ZIPPER NOISE! as phone on other side is abused))

[Moe] interjecting NYUH! There’s more. We didn’t do any of the work!

[Curly] steamwhistle goes off ((BANG! ZIPPER NOISE! STEAM WHISTLE! CRASHING PLATES! EXPLOSIONS GO OFF!)) NYUH! NYUH! NYUH! ((SOMEHOW BALD HEAD GRABBING NOISES THROUGH PHONE))

[Shemp] running around other room WOO WOO WOO!

((SMACK! DOINK! WEEEEBLE WEEEBLE!))

[Shemp] with koo-koo birds around head OOOOUCH! What happened?

[Manyfeek] furiously writing

[Curly] steamwhistle goes off ((BANG! ZIPPER NOISE! STEAM WHISTLE! CRASHING PLATES! EXPLOSIONS GO OFF!)) NYUH! NYUH! NYUH! I’M COMIN FOR YA MOE! NYUH! NYUH! NYUH!

((DOOR SLAM. WINDOWS BREAK.))

[Shakes] from outside the frame and whispering: “This is the best of all possible ways to break bad news.”