Lex and Tim

Ch 04 - Lex and Tim

Lex sat wheezing and watching out of the jeep that was taking her to the park’s visitor center. She was young and always very tired. Nevertheless, she was getting stronger every year. She looked out at the strange park her grandfather had invited them to. She and Tim, her brother, had landed by seaplane at Isla Nublar’s lagoon a few minutes back.

Lex was a bit bored, she loved her family, but humans were dumb and boring. She loved to work on strange computer interfaces. The stranger the interface, the happier Lex was. She once found a computer system where the visual paradigm was just stacks of raw meat to cycle through. Made her super hungry but it was hard to focus on the task at hand.

Tim had introduced himself a few years back and they’d decided to be siblings. He was very young but not extremely ill and had most of his mobility. They were naturally attracted to one another as they looked very similar in some way. After talking and getting to know each other, it was clear that they were family and should share a mother at least and maybe even a father.

They were both looking forward to meeting their parents and playing with their grandfather who loved kick the can. It was hard for Tim and Lex to keep up with their grandfather when he decided to run but as the years went on, Lex could at least hide. Tim was too slow and he got “out” almost immediately each time they’d played in the past as he couldn’t race to the can as fast as old grandpa.

The jeep rolled through long stretches of things called “strip malls.” This was part of the “backstage” that most visitors wouldn’t see, but their grandfather wanted to give them a special “behind the scenes” look at how the humans were well cared for when not roaming free.

Their chaperone, Donald, an attorney working for their grandfather, said, “Oh my. Look at all the expense,” as he peered out at a large strip mall. Their jeep slowed so they could watch the human handlers work.

The jeep’s automated tour guide noted, “This environment is accurate to how humans would meet and transact. However, these structures were carefully torn down and replaced with natural patches of grass and trees. Over time, entire forests and fields were returned to their pristine natural shape due to their daily work to return the earth from the poison cloud from which they emerged.”

Tim’s breath was on the glass. “I don’t see any humans? This is where a Mall Shopper would range!”

The jeep continued its tour, “Let’s see if our handlers have any specimens to manage this afternoon.”

“EEEEE! PEDICURE! EEEEE! PEDICURE!” the human wailed as it was led out into the paddock by a dinopod. The human’s feet had huge multicolored growths that matched a tangle of projections from its fingers.

Tim joyously called, “It’s a real Nail Salon Goer! It needs help shaving down its claws. Oh my, it looks to be in pain.”

The handler roughly threw the human down on the ground, sat on a stool, and took one of the human’s legs. The dinopod brought out a dremel, a high speed rotary power tool. He applied it to the growths found on the human’s foot.

“PEDICURE! YES! GELNOPRESSON! GELNOPRESSON! YES!” said the Nail Salon Goer as the dinopod’s dremel sent things airborne.

“BOBA. BOBA. BOBA.” said another human who had entered the minimall from the paddock door. It walked carefully and peered at the offerings at the minimall.

The jeep offered, “See the variety of humans that would gather at this human watering hole. The Boba Drinker is always on the hunt for its next meal.”

The dinopod who was working on the Nail Salon Goer looked up at the Boba Drinker. He sighed and dropped the foot of the Nail Salon Goer.

“BOBA? BOBA?” the human said as it looked around its environment. Its head snapped around as it tried to find what it needed. The dinopod came back with a sealed fluid capsule and tossed it at the Boba Drinker’s feet.

“BOBA! AHHH! BOBA! YES!”, the Boba Drinker said greedily as it pierced the fluid capsule with a sharp straw. Large balls of tapioca flowed through the straw and into the Boba Drinker’s hungry gob.

“NEWPHONE. NEWPHONE. NEWPHONE.” said a new human who entered the paddock.

Tim said, “It’s a New Phone Addict! I can’t believe it!” as the human walked around the minimall. It stumbled and fell on its face before the dinopod worker could get to it.

“NEWPHONE?” it said as it looked at the paddock worker’s face. The dinopod yelled, “YOU’RE STILL PAYING FOR THE LAST PHONE.”

The New Phone Addict’s face fell and it sat and sulked. “newphone. newphone.” it said to comfort itself.

Lex complained, “When are we getting to the center? I’m hungry and I’ve seen enough silly apes before breakfast.”

Donald said, “It shouldn’t be much longer. Let’s go — your grandfather is waiting.”

Tim complained, but Donald offered, “The sooner we get to your grandfather, the sooner we can go on the real tour. Don’t you want to see them roaming free in the park?”

Tim understood and sat back down on his seat, “OK. Let’s go.” Donald told the jeep to continue on to the visitor center and it lurched forward to their final destination.

The jeep managed to get up a long winding muddy hill to the park’s visitor center. The large building looked like an African safari village and the jeep stopped in front.

“Welcome to the visitor center. Please enjoy your stay at Quaternary Park,” said the jeep coolly as it shut down. The children carefully got out of the jeep to avoid any falls and Donald helped each carefully.

The ancient Johnny Hammond ran out from the center’s front doors and said, “YEAH! You’re here! Look at my awesome stuff! I am SO COOL! You wanna see all my toys! Come inside!”

The elderly dinopod raced back into the center without looking back to see if anyone was following, but was stopped by a much younger female.

The person filling in for their great grandmother, who had egged ages ago, said, “Johnny! Come finish your breakfast! You know you aren’t supposed to leave the table without asking first! I’m sorry folks, he’s just so excited about showing off. Come inside and get some raw meat.”

Johnny, finally released by his mommy, yelled back, “Last one there has to eat the tail!”

Donald picked up the kids’ bags and everyone carefully made their way into the building.