Junior Rises

Ch_001_000: Junior Rises

Weatherwax combed Lassie Junior’s long blonde and white hair. The hair was precious and the man whose head was attached became precious due to the hair. The comb ran smoothly through as tangles were simply not acceptable. The hair rippled and shone in appreciation of Weatherwax’s continual attention.

Weatherwax was a wise old dog. It was known dogwide as a true “human-whisperer”. Weatherwax could get a human to do almost anything and dogs just loved their human pets. The dog looked content and a bit anxious. Its master plan, a human acting in the lead role of a movie, had proven very popular. The movie was called “Lassie Come Home” and featured a female human running home. Now that most families spent their evenings in front of the television set, “Lassie” would follow with her own serialized television drama about a human living with a young puppy near a farm.

Lassie Junior preferred her new title over being called “Lassie.” Brother Day was her appropriate title. Brother Day used pronouns that did not match her biological reality, but she was a method actress and tried to remain in character at all times. Her ascension to Day status meant that she would be the first Lassie in her genetic empire to lead a serialized television show. This would be the first time television would star a human. Most shows kept with the typical dog based stories and few doggles kept humans as pets.

Brother Day’s father sat nearby. His head was carefully turned and he looked at his son from the corners of his eye. His name was Pal, but his title had become Brother Dusk. Pal was the ur-Lassie. His starring role as the rough human with the golden locks in Lassie Come Home (a film Pal would emphasize from time-to-time) established Lassie as a household name across the country.

Brother Dusk said, “She is not ready for this. I should lead off the television series. Everyone loved my performance in Lassie Come Home. There’s no reason to replace me now.” Brother Dusk used male pronouns and was looking at Weatherwax’s brush with obvious envy.

Brother Dawn, a very small younger human with a bright green mohawk, said, “If you are so very ready grandfather, why don’t you turn your head to face us all? What happens if the puppy runs to your left? Hahahahaa!”

Brother Dusk spat out, “I can play this role with only half of my face showing. This isn’t Lear.”

Brother Day interrupted, “It could be Lear, if we actually try, Brothers. Stop the arguing and let’s review the upcoming season. I need to prepare myself for my character’s arc in her first set of stories. This will lay the foundation on which we all will benefit.”

Brother Dusk offered, “I could think better if my hair was in better shape. When does the comb rule my mane, dear Weatherwax?”

Weatherwax barked softly, “When your son is ready for her closeup, dear Brother Dusk.”

“I think I have a split end,” bluffed the older human as he held up a strand of hair.

“Split end! HA! How about the mange on the other side, grandpa,” laughed the youngest.

“I WILL END YOU RIGHT HERE YOU FREAK! YOU CALL THAT A MANE! NOBODY IS GOING TO WATCH A FREAK LIKE YOU!” yelled the oldest.

Weatherwax grabbed a small can from its utility belt, and then smashed the coin grenade onto the ground in one powerful motion. The sudden, monstrous noise made all three humans look at the dog in fear.

“Good boys. No more bickering,” said the dog coolly to its three charges over very bright eyes. “Now, Spock. You will apologize to your grandfather right now.”

Brother Dawn hated to be called Spock, but his actual birth name was far, far worse. He’d asked to have it changed after his hero, Dr. Benjamin Spock, a dog dedicated to the correct treatment of puppies.

He sneered back at the dog and said, without looking at his grandfather, “I am very sorry you have no hair on your left, grandfather. Plea…”

“Fuck you, you fucking punk!” hissed Brother Dusk as he turned and pointed at his own mange-driven bald side. “My mohawk is earned and not shaved,” the older man nearly shouted across the salon.

Brother Day finally asserted herself and said, “ENOUGH. None of this helps our cause. You, Brother Dusk, are our lead and the ur-Lassie. We all owe you deeply for the chassis from which to build.”

Dusk said, “Build? What would you build from where I left? Lassie traversed the landmass we call home to, and hear me clearly now both of you, COME HOME! So, now that I got here? I’m shown the metaphorical farm and not the fictional one? Lassie, like all of us, ages.”

Brother Day looked hurt and noted, “No. Lassie represents something follically eternal. Please. Think of the puppies watching, Dusk.”

The elderly man continued his rant, “So, tell me fine Day, the brightest of us, where is our home? Why did Lassie come home? Why if the farm is the end? Why run to it? I started her life and now the film demands that we…”

Weatherwax huffed, “This is television and not film, Brother Dusk. Lassie will be on an American farm where she will be a puppy’s very best friend and guardian angel.”

“Those damn puppies,” muttered the old man. “I will be there to help up until they up and flop into the well. Then, my responsibility is to inform the nearest dogs. I mean, I’m only human and I’m still able to do the basics here.”

Brother Day interrupted, “There will be no puppies in wells or any other water on Lassie, the TV program. This will be a family show to show family values. Weatherwax, what is the first episode about? I am positive it will be an important family lesson.”

Weatherwax barked, “Someone will attempt to steal from Lassie’s current family. Lassie qua guardian angel will directly seek justice as only she knows how.”

Day glowed, “Divine, goldenly hirsute justice will be Lassie’s first fare on television. I assume I might run freely at times? My hair is a glissading, honeyed rainbow that flows well in the wind.”

Weatherwax howled lightly, “That is exactly the intent fair Day and your mane is ready.”

The dog turned to the elder man and said, “Now, I would love to get my comb and brush on your beautiful mane, lovely Dusk. Where is that split end?”

Dusk’s right leg started to shake and the comb was drawn through his very long but thinning mane. The young boy finally said, “Man, this is so dull. My hair is already perfect! Do I need to watch you yank out his last few hairs, Weatherwax? Can we do me some other time? I’m not jone-sing for a combs-ing like gramps!”

Dusk nearly spat out, “I have only one addiction and it’s to see you fail in less than a year. I know you. Under fire? You’ll bolt. Watch and see! When your Day is my Midnight, you will be in a nightmare and I will be at peace.”

The young man turned on his heel and left the salon with a loud slam of the door. Day sighed and asked Weatherwax for more good news about the upcoming season.

Weatherwax barked in a fit of joy, “Well, Brother Day, Lassie will be protecting money. This feels venal, but it is her master’s fortune and, well, it’s the last of the man, and Lassie’s love will guard it, with her life if need be. She carefully uncovers where the men are who manage to steal this holy cache. Lassie will embody justice as she physically blasts her body through a window pane in order to find these cretins.”

Day preened and said, “I know exactly the correct head toss when the job is complete and justice is served.”

Weatherwax offered more, “Later, Lassie will bravely defend her family from a typical farm problem. A strange person with a wild mane will invade the farm from an extremely negligent itinerant performing group that still uses human based performances called a circus. Lassie will subdue the crazed man and their hair will be comparable; however, Lassie will reign supreme - both physically and follically.”

Day nodded, “This is obvious, but it should be shown. Lassie is the true king of the jungle. Not some wild maned buffoon with an anger management problem.”

Weatherwax tittered at the joke and then barked, “There’s more dear Day! Lassie will give birth. This will test your acting to the extreme. Well, given the gender issues. Not that that is any sort of problem here.”

Dusk snorted and said, “That dude was born to give birth on television, Weatherwax. He’ll be great at it.”

Day looked hurt until Weatherwax soothed the star of the empire, “Brother Day. There will be betrayal, thrilling heroism, and always, always, perfectly flowing hair.”

With that, Brother Day left the salon in peace while Dusk’s leg was syncopated to the beat of his master’s comb.