Mirkwood

Mirkwood

I am in my forties and lying down with Zoe at bedtime.

I am reading the Hobbit to Zoe. She was just at the cusp of being able to read herself; that’s the goal, but I miss this.

We had read every one of the Oz books, including non-Baum work that picks up with other authors and are only available with ratty Tor paperbacks. The entire Harry Potter series was read. We were on to more challenging material and I was thrilled to be reading great stuff. The board books are charming, but man if I ever see that pig with the tail and the mud to straighten it, well, bacon is on the menu boys.

The Hobbit is a wonderful children’s book, but does include scary images of giant spiders, evil dragons etc. She was delighted and, it helped her go to sleep, if only I’d sing about 8 songs first.

I am reading to her now and this wasn’t the first time I’d read the book. I knew we were headed to Mirkwood, which is intense, but I knew what would bother Zoe most. Zoe is always concerned about getting in trouble. She was willful and had an interesting dad. We had our exciting moments, but I would go back in a second if I could.

The dwarves, with Bilbo, are at the entry of the forest. Gandalf, the most powerful and wise, at the mouth of a deadly forest that he’s led them to, pops off because he’s got another meeting. I’m sure the Tolkien folks are about to tell me something with so many useless words with diaeresis and circumflex as a protective coating to ensure I’d not listen.

Gandalf gives one, compressed, recommendation to the crew: “Do not go off the path.”

I close the book here. I always find that if you are in the middle of any story, and have a chance, to stop and predict what will happen next. It’s a nice mental exercise for problem solving and supercharges empathy. My wife looked at me dumbfounded in a car, as out of nowhere, her husband says “That priest dude is gonna die.”

[LESLEY] Wtf are you on about now.

[BILL] Well, you know The Gilded Age. There’s no way they’re going to let that lady leave Christine Baranski. Half the show is her humiliating the other. That woman must return and return quickly or the writers will have Christine leaving the show and that can’t happen.

[LESLEY] Nice analysis dork.

Well, the priest got sick and died the next episode.

So, back to Zoe and me, and the closed book. Last line: “Do not go off the path.” (As an exercise, do this now. What does Bill ask?)

[BILL] Zoe, do you think they’ll stay on the path or not?

[ZOE facepalming] THEY’RE GOING TO GO OFF THE PATH!

I smiled, but I hope she slept well.