Snake Guy Delivers

Snake Guy Delivers

I’m 37 and in a hospital room.

I see Lesley lying comfortably in bed. She is in “labor” but is comfortable. I’m reviewing all the camping gear and supplies I’d organized and kept in the trunk. I didn’t want to sleep on the floor this time. We’re chatting and things are calm.

BAM! Snake Guy bursts into the room. “Woah! Snake Guy! Is there a snake in this room!” and I start scanning the corners for reptiles.

“Nah, Bill,” Snake Guy answers. “Your doc is busy. So, I’m here to deliver your baby.” As he heads to Lesley, I’m ok but concerned, “have you ever deliv…” and Sadie is in my hands. I’m shocked and delighted and confused…

I look up from Sadie and with tears in my eyes I try to sputter out gratitude, “Thank you. Can I do anyth…” Snake Guy’s eyes harden a bit. “Fool. Don’t you know me by now. I do this shit for fun” as he hucks the placenta into a bin.

As he’s leaving, he softens and says, “Catch you on Facebook later, friend” as he walks out the door.